Moments
by lilldeh
Summary: You see him with a letter in his hand and one thought enters your mind; death.


_ Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter at all sadly JK Rowling does._

_ Moments _

Everything is crashing down; you can almost see the black engulfing the world around you. You're helpless because there's nothing you can do to stop it and you feel it more and more everyday.

You read a new horror story in the daily prophet about death everyday, there's one on the front page. That's what your life now consists of, death. No one you know personally has died but you still feel the loss.

You feel the loss when you hear one of your roommates scream bloody murder when she gets a letter in the middle of the nigh saying how her brother has been killed. And when the girl you tutor comes to the library with puffy, red eyes and tell you she wont need lessons for the next couple of weeks because her mother has been found dead, or when the boy who use to sit next to you in divination has a nervous breakdown after finding out half of his family was tortured to death by a death eater.

With all of you heart you wished you could have helped these people. You cried at night for them, cried your eyes out for their loss because how did you know you wouldn't be next.

Your frightened to your core every time you get an owl, just waiting for that letter telling you your parents and sister are gone, just waiting.

You pray to god every night, you sometimes feel like you were safer when you prayed. It was childish and foolish but it got you to sleep at night which was more than you could say for some of you room mates.

You hate walking down the corridors at night, it's creepy and cold but as head girl it's your job. You wish James was with you but once again he was off neglecting his duties, probably off snogging some girl or pulling a prank. This is all you can think bitterly as you continue to walk.

You hate him more than ever at this moment when you start to hear a strange noise down the corridor. Hating him for not being there to tell you everything was okay and it was probably just some kids snogging, hating him for not making you feel safe.

Pulling your wand out you walk slowly towards the noise which is coming from a dark classroom and sounds oddly like crying. Sympathy overflows you as you rush towards the door, thinking about the poor soul who was crying and why. Opening the door you prepare yourself for a little boy or girl sobbing their eyes out, but what you see makes you stop short.

James Potter's head whips around at the sound of the creaky door.

You eyes lock for a second and everything stops;

The world has stopped spinning just for this moment. Everything is simple right at this moment, life makes senses, there's good and evil, there's hate and there's love, at this very moment you don't see potter or annoying James.

All you see is James Potter crying his eyes out with a letter in his hand, one thought enters your mind; death.

Pain is mixed with the green and brown of his eyes, he looks helpless and scared like a child and that thought alone makes you want to cry.

The world chooses to start spinning at this moment and everything happens very quickly.

He jumps up and turns away from you, wiping his eyes while trying to stick the letter in his pocket.

You stand erect, frozen in a moment ago.

"Lily uh uh um im sorry I uh I know im im suppose to be um patrolling with you and uh this isn't anything everything is uh um Im okay Im good I was just um I has something in my uh my" he rambles in a voice laced with anguish and you bite you lip to stop from crying.

He's changed from last year, he older more mature mentally and physically.

You don't quite remember when you stopped cursing him and starting staring at him but you realized that things had quickly changed from simple sixth year. The way he runs his hand through his hair is now undoubtedly sexy; his smile is no longer caused by pranks and childish things but now of the simple moments that only adults can appreciate.

You can't help but feel that he's grown up without you, that in one short year he's gone from beneath you to above you in many ways.

You can't help but think of these things while you stand there deciding what to do, deciding if you should leave or stay, enter his world or stay at arms length like you have always been.

You put your wand into you robe pocket and make a decision, slowly you walk towards him grasping his hand and holding it tightly, both of your fingers enlaced.

After a couple of silent moments he sniffles loudly and turns to face you "Im sorry, you" he begins. You shake you head at him "You have nothing to be sorry for, whatever it is, whatever happened it's not your fault."

These words strike him hard; you realize this as tears begin to well up in his beautiful eyes once again.

You push yourself onto your tippy toes and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him against you tightly you whisper in his ear, "Let it out, let it all out, no one will ever know."

And he does, after a few seconds he pulls you close to him and sobs. You have no idea why he's crying until you hear him mumble in a thick voice "I need them, I need them I need my mom and dad, why did they die, why".

You pull him tighter hoping that everything you cannot put into words, he'll understand from a hug and surprisingly he does.

You think about you parents, your wonderful and caring mother, your out of date but loving father and you can't even imagine loosing them. The pain of that idea is simply too much for your heart, you squeeze James tighter trying somehow to make things better.

The sounds that escape him makes your heard ache, makes you want to take all his pain away and take it for yourself, makes you want to go out and kill Voldemort yourself. You would do anything at this moment to get James's parents back to make him stop hurting, but you can't because you're helpless.

And you have never hated been helpless more than now when it mattered most.

You won't realize it now or tomorrow or a week from now or even months from now but one day you will. One day you'll look back to this moment and realize that James potter become the love of your life at this moment, the very thing that gave you life when death was all around you.

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Review?

Please be nice it's my first


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